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GCSE English Language · GCSEChapter 5 · Creative writing: descriptive and narrative
GCSE · Chapter 5

Creative writing: descriptive and narrative

By the end of this chapter you will be able to

  • I can choose a clear focus for a description and stick to it.
  • I can use the senses to bring a scene to life.
  • I can build a story shape: hook, tension, turn and ending.
  • I can choose a viewpoint and tense and keep them consistent.
  • I can organise my paragraphs and write a strong opening and ending.

You should already know

  • Sentences, paragraphs and word classes (Year 9 English and Chapter 1)
  • Figurative language: simile, metaphor, personification (Chapter 1)

Where this leads

  • Crafting sentences, vocabulary, planning and proof-reading (Chapter 6)
  • Mock exam Paper 1 (Chapter 12)

GCSE English Language. Content follows the GCSE (9-1) subject content for England (Edexcel and AQA). Content references: Write a descriptive piece with a clear focus on a place, a person or a moment (AO5), Use the senses, mood and atmosphere to create a clear picture for the reader (AO5), Shape a narrative with an opening hook, rising tension, a turn and an ending (AO5), Choose a viewpoint and a tense, and keep them consistent (AO5), Organise paragraphs so that each one has a clear job, and write strong openings and endings (AO5).

Exercise P  Do you remember?

1
FWhat is a hook in a story? Write the answer in one short phrase.
2
FWhat is a paragraph? Write the answer in one short phrase.
3
FWhat is a simile? Write the answer in one short phrase.
4
FWhich tense is "she walked" in? Write one word: past, present or future.
5
FWhat are the five senses? Write one of them.
5.1

A clear focus in a description

GCSE
Write a descriptive piece with a clear focus on a place, a person or a moment (AO5)
Video lesson: A clear focus in a descriptionComing soon
Context. Question 5 may ask you to describe a place, a person or a moment. A strong description has one clear focus. Read Model A and notice how the writer keeps the market at the centre, paragraph after paragraph.

Model A: The market at dawn (original descriptive piece, four paragraphs)

1The market began before the sun had decided whether to rise. Lorries reversed up the cobbled lane with their hazard lights blinking orange, and somewhere a shutter rattled up like a drum roll.

2The air smelled of wet earth and coffee. Stallholders stamped their feet against the cold and blew into their hands, and their breath hung over the crates of late cabbages and bruised apples.

3Then came the sound of the fishmonger's knife, quick and sure, and the gulls swooping down from the rooftops with a thin, greedy cry. A child in a red hat pointed at a tray of silver fish, and the fishmonger winked, as if they shared a secret.

4By seven the lane was crowded. Voices rose and fell in a dozen accents, prices were shouted across the stalls, and steam from the bakery tumbled out of an open door, sweet with cinnamon. Dawn had finally arrived, and the market was awake.

Key ideas

  • A focus is the one place, person or moment that the whole piece is about.
  • Build the piece outwards: start with the big picture, then zoom in to small details.
  • Every paragraph should add a new detail about the focus.
Worked example 5.1.1
What is the focus of Model A? Write one word.

Method. Find the word the description keeps returning to.

  1. Read the first sentence. The first sentence names the market.
    The market began
  2. Check the rest. Later sentences describe stalls, crates and the lane around the market.
    the crates of late cabbages
  3. Give the word. The focus is the market.
    market
  4. Write the answer.
    market

Check. The whole piece is about the market. ✓

Worked example 5.1.2
Which sentence is the best focus for a description of a bus station at night? Choose one: The bus station at night was cold, empty and lit by one flickering lamp., I like buses because they are yellow. or Yesterday I went to the shops..

Method. Test each choice against the text.

  1. Read what the question asks for. Decide what the sentence or the text needs.
  2. Test the choice. It names one place and gives a clear mood and picture from the start.
    The bus station at night was cold, empty and lit by one flickering lamp. fits
  3. Reject the other choices. The other sentences mention buses or shops without a clear picture of one place.
    I like buses because they are yellow. and Yesterday I went to the shops. do not fit
  4. Write the answer.
    The bus station at night was cold, empty and lit by one flickering lamp.

Check. The choice fits the text. ✓

Worked example 5.1.3
Explain how the writer moves from a wide view to a close view in paragraphs 1 and 3.

Method. Compare what each paragraph shows.

  1. Paragraph 1. It begins with lorries and a shutter in the wide lane.
    Lorries reversed up the cobbled lane
  2. Paragraph 3. It zooms in to the fishmonger and a child.
    A child in a red hat
  3. Give the movement. The view moves from wide to close.
    from lorries and the lane to the fish and the child
  4. Write the answer.
    from lorries and the lane to the fish and the child

Check. The movement from wide to close is named. ✓

Exercise 5A  Practice: focus and zoom

1
FWhich paragraph of Model A focuses on a child? Write the number.
2
FWhich paragraph of Model A is the ending of the description? Write the number.
3
PSWhat is the focus of the first paragraph of Model A? Write one word: market, sun or lorries.
4
RWhich sentence in Model A is the widest view? Write the first word of that sentence.
5
FChoose a focus for a description of a school playground at break time. Write one sentence naming the focus.
6
FWhich paragraph of Model A describes the fishmonger? Write the number.
7
RExplain how the writer keeps the focus on the market in paragraph 2. Write one sentence.
8
FWhich technique is used in "like a drum roll"? Write one word.
9
PSWrite one sentence that zooms in from the market to one stall, with a detail about it.
5.2

The senses, mood and atmosphere

GCSE
Use the senses, mood and atmosphere to create a clear picture for the reader (AO5)
Video lesson: The senses, mood and atmosphereComing soon
Context. A reader remembers how a place feels as much as how it looks. Use all five senses. Mood is the feeling a scene gives the reader; atmosphere is the overall effect of the place and its details.

Key ideas

  • Use more than sight: smell, sound, touch and taste bring a scene to life.
  • Choose words that carry the mood: crowded, quick and sure create energy; empty and cold create stillness.
  • Show the atmosphere through details, rather than naming it.
Worked example 5.2.1
Which sense does "The air smelled of wet earth and coffee" use? Write one word.

Method. Look at the verb and the nouns.

  1. Find the verb. Smelled is a verb of smell.
    smelled
  2. Find the nouns. Wet earth and coffee are smells.
    wet earth and coffee
  3. Name the sense. The sense is smell.
    smell
  4. Write the answer.
    smell

Check. The verb and nouns are about smell. ✓

Worked example 5.2.2
What mood does "quick and sure" create in paragraph 3? Choose one: calm and sleepy, quick, skilful and busy or sad and lonely.

Method. Test each choice against the text.

  1. Read what the question asks for. Decide what the sentence or the text needs.
  2. Test the choice. The knife movement is fast, precise and confident, which gives energy.
    quick, skilful and busy fits
  3. Reject the other choices. Calm and sleepy and sad and lonely do not fit a quick, sure knife.
    calm and sleepy and sad and lonely do not fit
  4. Write the answer.
    quick, skilful and busy

Check. The choice fits the text. ✓

Worked example 5.2.3
What atmosphere does paragraph 4 create? Give one word.

Method. Look at the sounds and the people.

  1. Find the sounds. Voices rose and fell in a dozen accents.
    Voices rose and fell
  2. Find the action. Prices were shouted across the stalls.
    prices were shouted
  3. Give the word. The atmosphere is lively.
    lively
  4. Write the answer.
    lively

Check. The detail shows a busy scene. ✓

Exercise 5B  Practice: senses and mood

1
FWhich sense does "sweet with cinnamon" mainly use? Write one word: smell, sight or hearing.
2
FWhich sense does "the sound of the fishmonger's knife" use? Write one word.
3
PSWhich word in paragraph 1 suggests the market is starting to be busy? Write one word.
4
PSWhat mood does "The air smelled of wet earth and coffee" create? Answer in one word and a reason.
5
FWhich word from paragraph 2 describes the cold weather? Write one word.
6
FDescribe the touch of the cold air, using one sensory word. Write one sentence.
7
PSWhich mood word best describes Model A as a whole? Write one word: busy, peaceful or frightening.
8
RWrite one sentence that uses sight and sound together to show a busy place.
9
RWhich sense is most used in paragraph 4? Write one word: sight, sound or taste.
10
RExplain why the writer uses "sweet with cinnamon" rather than just "warm". Write one sentence.
5.3

The shape of a narrative

GCSE
Shape a narrative with an opening hook, rising tension, a turn and an ending (AO5)
Video lesson: The shape of a narrativeComing soon
Context. A narrative needs a shape. It starts with a hook, builds tension, turns in a surprising way and ends. Model B shows this shape in four short paragraphs. Read it and find each part.

Model B: The wrong key (original narrative opening, four paragraphs)

1The key did not fit. Tara turned it twice, then a third time, feeling the metal grind against the lock like a tooth on a stone. Behind her, the rain was still falling on the street, and somewhere a dog was barking at nothing.

2She had been sure. Her grandmother had pressed the key into her palm on the station platform and said, "Keep this safe, love. You will know where it goes." Now Tara stood on the doorstep of a house she had never seen, with a key that belonged nowhere.

3A light came on in the upstairs window. Tara stepped back, her heart thudding, and the gate behind her gave a long, complaining creak. Someone was coming down the stairs. She heard the slow tap of footsteps, then the bolt sliding back.

4The door opened a crack. An old man peered out, his glasses misted with the wet air. He looked at the key in her hand, and then at her face, and his own face changed. "Where did you get that?" he whispered.

Key ideas

  • Hook: a first sentence that makes the reader ask a question.
  • Rising tension: details that make the situation harder or more uncertain.
  • Turn: a moment that changes the situation, often a surprise or a new question.
  • Ending: a close that gives an answer or leaves a question open.
Worked example 5.3.1
Which sentence is the hook in Model B? Copy the sentence.

Method. Look at the first sentence.

  1. Read the start. The first sentence is short and raises a question.
    The key did not fit.
  2. Check the effect. The reader wants to know why it does not fit.
    why it does not fit
  3. Copy it. Copy the sentence exactly.
    The key did not fit.
  4. Write the answer.
    The key did not fit.

Check. The short first sentence is the hook. ✓

Worked example 5.3.2
Which paragraph of Model B shows the turn? Choose one: paragraph 2, where Tara remembers her grandmother, paragraph 4, where the old man recognises the key or paragraph 1, where it is raining.

Method. Test each choice against the text.

  1. Read what the question asks for. Decide what the sentence or the text needs.
  2. Test the choice. The old man looks at the key and asks where she got it, which changes the situation.
    paragraph 4, where the old man recognises the key fits
  3. Reject the other choices. Paragraph 2 is a memory, and paragraph 1 sets the scene, so neither changes the situation.
    paragraph 2, where Tara remembers her grandmother and paragraph 1, where it is raining do not fit
  4. Write the answer.
    paragraph 4, where the old man recognises the key

Check. The choice fits the text. ✓

Worked example 5.3.3
What does paragraph 3 add to the tension? Give one idea.

Method. Look at the sounds and actions in paragraph 3.

  1. Find the signs. A light comes on and footsteps are heard.
    A light came on in the upstairs window
  2. Explain the tension. The reader senses danger and waiting.
    waiting
  3. Give the idea. Someone is coming, so the tension rises.
    a sense that someone is coming, so the tension rises
  4. Write the answer.
    a sense that someone is coming, so the tension rises

Check. The signs build tension. ✓

Exercise 5C  Practice: narrative shape

1
FWhich paragraph of Model B is the hook? Write the number.
2
FWhich paragraph of Model B builds tension with footsteps? Write the number.
3
FIn Model B, what does Tara hold in her hand? Write one word.
4
PSWrite a hook sentence for a story about a found letter. One sentence.
5
RWhich sentence in Model B makes the reader most curious? Copy the sentence.
6
RWhat tension does "a key that belonged nowhere" create? Write one word: certainty, mystery or humour.
7
RExplain how the writer uses the ending of Model B to leave the reader curious. Write one sentence.
8
PSWhich part of a narrative is paragraph 2 of Model B? Write one word: hook, background or ending.
9
RExplain what a turn does for a narrative. Write one sentence.
10
FWhich paragraph of Model B is the ending? Write the number.
5.4

Viewpoint and tense

GCSE
Choose a viewpoint and a tense for a narrative, and keep them consistent (AO5)
Video lesson: Viewpoint and tenseComing soon
Context. Viewpoint is whose eyes the reader sees through. Tense is when the action happens: past, present or future. Model B uses third person and past tense. Keep your choice consistent; do not switch tense by accident.

Key ideas

  • Third person: he, she, they. First person: I, we.
  • Past tense: she walked. Present tense: she walks.
  • Consistency: choose one tense for the main action and keep it.
Worked example 5.4.1
Which pronoun shows the viewpoint is third person in Model B? Write one word.

Method. Look for the pronouns that refer to Tara.

  1. Find the pronouns. Model B uses she to refer to Tara.
    She had been sure
  2. Name the viewpoint. She is third person, outside the narrator.
    third person
  3. Give the word. The pronoun is she.
    she
  4. Write the answer.
    she

Check. She shows third person. ✓

Worked example 5.4.2
Which tense is the main action of Model B in? Choose one: past, present or future.

Method. Test each choice against the text.

  1. Read what the question asks for. Decide what the sentence or the text needs.
  2. Test the choice. Verbs such as turned, stood and opened show past actions.
    past fits
  3. Reject the other choices. The present tense would use turns and stands, and the future would use will turn.
    present and future do not fit
  4. Write the answer.
    past

Check. The choice fits the text. ✓

Worked example 5.4.3
Rewrite "Tara turned the key" in the present tense. Write the sentence.

Method. Change the verb to the present tense.

  1. Find the verb. Turned is the past tense of turn.
    turned
  2. Change it. The present tense of turn is turns.
    turns
  3. Write the sentence. Tara turns the key.
    Tara turns the key
  4. Write the answer.
    Tara turns the key

Check. The verb is now present tense. ✓

Exercise 5D  Practice: viewpoint and tense

1
FWhich tense is "She heard the slow tap of footsteps" in? Write one word.
2
PSWrite the verb in the present tense: "An old man peered out." Write one word.
3
FWhich pronoun would make the viewpoint first person? Write one word: she, I or they.
4
PSRewrite "She stood at the door" in the first person. Write the sentence.
5
RWhich sentence keeps the tense consistent? Write A or B. A: "She opens the door and walked in." B: "She opened the door and walked in."
6
RWhy might a writer choose the first person for a narrative? Write one sentence.
7
RWhich tense would you use for a story that is happening now? Write one word: past or present.
8
RExplain why keeping the tense consistent matters in a narrative. Write one sentence.
9
RWhich narrative viewpoint lets the reader know what only one character thinks? Write one phrase.
10
FWrite one sentence in the past tense about a girl who finds a coin. Use third person.
5.5

Paragraphs, openings and endings

GCSE
Organise paragraphs so that each has a job, and write a strong opening and ending (AO5)
Video lesson: Paragraphs, openings and endingsComing soon
Context. Paragraphs help the reader follow the story. Each paragraph has one job, such as setting the scene, showing a change, or ending. A strong opening grabs attention, and a strong ending gives a feeling or a question.

Key ideas

  • Start a new paragraph when the time, place, speaker or focus changes.
  • A strong opening is short, specific and surprising.
  • A strong ending can echo the opening, make a turn, or leave a question open.
Worked example 5.5.1
How many paragraphs are in Model B? Write the number.

Method. Count the paragraphs in the extract.

  1. Count. Each numbered line in the box is one paragraph.
    1 to 4
  2. Check the job. Each paragraph has a clear job in the story.
    hook, background, tension, turn
  3. Give the number. Model B has four paragraphs.
    4
  4. Write the answer.
    4

Check. Four paragraphs in total. ✓

Worked example 5.5.2
Which is the strongest opening sentence for a story about a lost dog? Choose one: It was a day like any other., The dog had vanished from the garden, and the gate was open. or I like dogs very much..

Method. Test each choice against the text.

  1. Read what the question asks for. Decide what the sentence or the text needs.
  2. Test the choice. It is specific and creates a question about how the dog got out.
    The dog had vanished from the garden, and the gate was open. fits
  3. Reject the other choices. A day like any other is vague, and liking dogs has no hook.
    It was a day like any other. and I like dogs very much. do not fit
  4. Write the answer.
    The dog had vanished from the garden, and the gate was open.

Check. The choice fits the text. ✓

Worked example 5.5.3
Explain why the closing question in Model B is an effective ending. Give one reason.

Method. Look at what the final line does.

  1. Find the close. The last line is a question from the old man.
    Where did you get that?
  2. Explain the effect. The question is unanswered.
    unanswered
  3. Give the reason. The reader is left wanting to know more.
    it leaves the reader wanting to know more
  4. Write the answer.
    it leaves the reader wanting to know more

Check. The open question creates curiosity. ✓

Exercise 5E  Practice: paragraphs, openings and endings

1
FWhich paragraph of Model B introduces a memory? Write the number.
2
PSWhat should make you start a new paragraph? Write one word: a change of time, a spelling error or a colour.
3
RWhich is the strongest opening? Write A or B. A: "Once upon a time there was a girl." B: "The girl had never been inside the house, but the key fitted perfectly."
4
PSWrite a closing sentence for a story about a lost dog that is found, leaving a small question open.
5
RWhich ending echoes an opening? Write one word: circular or open.
6
PSWrite one sentence that could be a strong opening for a story about a train station at night.
7
RWhich paragraph job is the turn in Model B? Write one word: setting, turn or ending.
8
RExplain why a paragraph should not contain many different ideas. Write one sentence.

Chapter summary

SkillMethod
A clear focusChoose one place, person or moment, keep it at the centre, and zoom in with details
The senses, mood and atmosphereUse sight, sound, smell, touch and taste; name the mood through details
Narrative shapeHook, background, rising tension, turn, ending: give each paragraph a job
Viewpoint and tensePick third or first person and past or present tense; keep them consistent
Paragraphs, openings and endingsStart a new paragraph when focus changes; open with a specific hook; end with a resolution or a question

Can you…?

  • I can keep one clear focus in a description and zoom in with details
  • I can use at least three senses to bring a scene to life
  • I can shape a narrative with a hook, tension, a turn and an ending
  • I can choose a viewpoint and tense, and keep them consistent
  • I can organise paragraphs and write a strong opening and ending

Key terms

focus
the one place, person or moment a piece is about
mood
the feeling a scene gives the reader
atmosphere
the overall feel created by the place and its details
hook
a first sentence that grabs the reader's attention
turn
a moment that changes the situation in a story
viewpoint
whose eyes and thoughts the reader sees through
tense
the time of the verbs: past, present or future

Exercise 5Z  Check-up

1
What is the focus of Model A? Write one word.
2
Which paragraph of Model A describes a child? Write the number.
3
Which sense does "The air smelled of wet earth and coffee" use? Write one word.
4
What mood does "quick and sure" create in paragraph 3? Write one word.
5
Which sentence is the hook in Model B? Copy the sentence.
6
Which paragraph of Model B is the turn? Write the number.
7
Which pronoun shows the viewpoint of Model B is third person? Write one word.
8
Rewrite "Tara turned the key" in the present tense. Write the sentence.
9
Write one sentence that describes a busy place using one sound word.
10
Explain what makes an ending effective. Write one sentence.

Total 29 marks. Allow about 29 minutes.

Exercise 5X  Exam-style questions

1
PSWrite one sentence that describes a crowded bus, using one sense other than sight. Give your sentence.[2 marks]
2
RText: "the fishmonger winked, as if they shared a secret." Explain the effect of the simile on the reader. Use your own words.[2 marks]
3
PSText: "Her grandmother had pressed the key into her palm on the station platform." Write one sentence that continues this memory, in the past tense.[2 marks]
4
PSText: "The key did not fit." Write a second sentence that makes the reader curious about the key. Give your sentence.[2 marks]
5
RWrite the opening paragraph (three to four sentences) of a descriptive piece about a park in autumn. Use one simile and one sense other than sight.[5 marks]
6
RWrite the opening sentence and one following sentence of a narrative about someone who finds an unexpected message. Use third person and past tense.[3 marks]
7
RExplain how the writer of Model B builds tension in paragraph 3. Use one example from the paragraph: "A light came on in the upstairs window."[3 marks]
8
PSText: "An old man peered out, his glasses misted with the wet air." Write one sentence in which a character reacts to the old man, in the first person. Give your sentence.[2 marks]
9
RWrite a closing sentence for a narrative in which a child returns a lost wallet. The closing sentence must end the story with a question left open.[3 marks]
10
RWrite a description of a place you know well, in about four sentences. Keep the focus on the place and use at least two senses other than sight.[5 marks]
← Chapter 4: Comparing texts and judging reliabilityChapter 6: Crafting sentences, vocabulary, planning and proof-reading →

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