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Primary English · Year 6Chapter 13 · Cohesion, editing and reading your own writing aloud
Year 6 · Chapter 13

Cohesion, editing and reading your own writing aloud

By the end of this chapter you will be able to

  • Choose a connecting word or an adverbial that shows when, where or in what order something happens
  • Use a pronoun to replace a repeated noun, without making the reference unclear
  • Use headings, bullet points and underlining to make a text easier to follow
  • Edit a draft for agreement, word choice and spelling, and proofread the final version
  • Read a piece aloud to check the sense, and plan a legible, joined style of handwriting

You should already know

  • Adverbials, fronted adverbials and commas (Year 4 Chapter 6 of this series, and Chapter 8 of the Year 4 book)
  • Pronouns, tense and consistent verb forms (Chapter 7 of the Year 4 book, and Chapter 6 of this book)

Where this leads

  • The end of the Year 6 English book: revise by reading a text aloud, and editing your own draft

National Curriculum for England, Key Stage 2 English, Year 6. Content: Use devices to build cohesion within a paragraph, such as adverbials of time, place and number (Y5-6 grammar and writing), Use cohesion across paragraphs, with pronouns, repeated nouns and consistent tense (Y5-6 writing), Use organisational and presentational devices, such as headings, bullet points and underlining, to structure a text (Y5-6 writing), Evaluate and edit your own and others' writing, and proofread for spelling and punctuation (Y5-6 writing), Read your writing aloud to check its effect, and write legible joined handwriting in a style that suits the purpose (Y5-6 writing, speaking and handwriting).

Exercise P  Do you remember?

1
FWhich word is an adverbial of time in Later, we went to the park.? Write the word only.
2
FWrite the pronoun that replaces Sam in Sam is kind, and Sam helps everyone. Write the word only.
3
FWrite the past tense of run. Write the word only.
4
FWhich word is a plural noun in The children played in the park.? Write the word only.
5
FWrite the word that means to look again at a piece of writing and correct it. Write the word only.
13.1

Cohesion within a paragraph: connecting words and adverbials

Year 6
Use devices to build cohesion within a paragraph, such as adverbials of time, place and number (Y5-6 grammar and writing)
Video lesson: Cohesion within a paragraph: connecting words and adverbialsComing soon
Story. Sam writes about his Saturday. His first draft has short, separate sentences, so Ruby says the events do not link together. He adds connecting words to show the order.

Cohesion is the way sentences link together, so that the reader can follow the ideas. Connecting words and adverbials show when, where or in what order things happen. An adverbial of time tells when, an adverbial of place tells where, and an adverbial of number shows the order, such as firstly or secondly.

Adverbials for time, place and number

AdverbialKindExample sentence
Later that afternoontimeLater that afternoon, the family went home.
In the corner of the roomplaceIn the corner of the room, the cat slept.
FirstlynumberFirstly, the family went home.
MeanwhiletimeMeanwhile, the family went home.
Behind the old barnplaceBehind the old barn, the cat slept.
SecondlynumberSecondly, the family went home.

Key ideas

  • Connecting words link events in order: then, afterwards, meanwhile, finally.
  • An adverbial of time tells when; of place, where; of number, the order.
  • A fronted adverbial at the start of a sentence is followed by a comma.
Worked example 13.1.1
Which kind of adverbial is Later that afternoon? Write time, place or number.

Method. Ask what the adverbial tells the reader.

  1. Ask the question. Later that afternoon tells the reader when.
    when
  2. Name the kind. It is an adverbial of time.
    time
  3. Write the answer.
    time

Check. Later that afternoon is an adverbial of time. ✓

Worked example 13.1.2
Join these sentences with a connecting word that shows the time order: Sam went to the market. He bought some apples.

Method. Add a connecting word that shows what came next.

  1. Find the time order. Buying apples came after going to the market.
    after
  2. Add the connecting word. Afterwards shows the next event, and the new sentence starts with a small letter.
    Afterwards, he bought some apples.
  3. Write the answer.
    Afterwards, he bought some apples.

Check. Afterwards shows the time order. ✓

Worked example 13.1.3
Which adverbial of place fits the cat slept? Choose Firstly or Under the warm table.

Method. A place adverbial tells where.

  1. Ask where. Under the warm table tells where the cat slept.
    where
  2. Check the other choice. Firstly tells the order, not where.
    order
  3. Write the answer.
    Under the warm table

Check. Under the warm table tells where. ✓

Watch out

Watch out: do not repeat the same connecting word in every sentence. Vary them so the writing reads smoothly.

Exam tip

Grown-up tip. Ask your child to tell you what they did yesterday, using firstly, then, afterwards and finally.

Exercise 13A  Practice: connecting words and adverbials

1
FWhat kind of adverbial is Later that afternoon in this sentence: Later that afternoon, the family went home.? Write time, place or number.
2
FWhat kind of adverbial is In the corner of the room in this sentence: In the corner of the room, the cat slept.? Write time, place or number.
3
FWhat kind of adverbial is Firstly in this sentence: Firstly, the family went home.? Write time, place or number.
4
FWhat kind of adverbial is Meanwhile in this sentence: Meanwhile, the family went home.? Write time, place or number.
5
FWhat kind of adverbial is Behind the old barn in this sentence: Behind the old barn, the cat slept.? Write time, place or number.
6
FWhat kind of adverbial is Secondly in this sentence: Secondly, the family went home.? Write time, place or number.
7
PSJoin these sentences with a connecting word that shows the time order: Sam went to the market on Saturday. He bought some apples.
8
PSJoin these sentences with a connecting word that shows the time order: He bought some apples. He met his friend at the café.
9
PSJoin these sentences with a connecting word that shows the time order: They ate lunch together. Sam walked home.
10
PSWrite one sentence with the connecting word afterwards, about a trip to the zoo.
11
FWrite the connecting word that shows that two events happened at the same time: at the same time, before or after. Write the phrase only.
12
PSAdd an adverbial of place to the sentence The cat slept., and write the new sentence.
13
FWhich word is an adverbial of number in Firstly, we ate lunch? Write the word only.
14
RExplain in one sentence why connecting words help the reader.
15
FWhat kind of adverbial is Behind the old barn in this sentence: Behind the old barn, the farmer found the lost goat.? Write time, place or number.
16
PSJoin these sentences with a connecting word that shows the time order: They ate lunch together. Sam walked home.
17
FWhich word shows that events are in a list, one after another: secondly or yesterday? Write the word only.
18
PSWrite a short paragraph of three sentences about a school day, using firstly, then and finally.
13.2

Cohesion across paragraphs: pronouns and consistent tense

Year 6
Use cohesion across paragraphs, with pronouns, repeated nouns and consistent tense (Y5-6 writing)
Video lesson: Cohesion across paragraphs: pronouns and consistent tenseComing soon
Story. Leah's report about the school garden has two paragraphs. In the first, the gardeners are named; in the second, she uses he and they, so the reader must work out who is meant.

Cohesion also works across paragraphs. A pronoun (he, she, it, they) can replace a noun, but the reader must be able to tell which noun it means. Keep the tense consistent: if a story is in the past, keep it in the past.

Pronouns that link paragraphs

Paragraph 1Paragraph 2Is it clear?
Maya and Roco planted seeds.They watered them each morning.Yes: they means Maya and Roco
The gardener came in June.He weeded the beds.Yes: he means the gardener
The gardener and the chef came.He cooked lunch.Unclear: which one is he?

Key ideas

  • A pronoun must clearly refer to a noun.
  • Repeat a noun when a pronoun could be unclear.
  • Keep the tense consistent across the text.
Worked example 13.2.1
Which pronoun refers clearly to Maya and Roco? Write the pronoun: they or it.

Method. Find the noun the pronoun replaces.

  1. Find the nouns. Maya and Roco are two people.
    Maya and Roco
  2. Choose the pronoun. They refers to more than one person.
    they
  3. Write the answer.
    they

Check. They refers to Maya and Roco. ✓

Worked example 13.2.2
Which sentence keeps the tense consistent? Choose She walks home and then ate lunch. or She walked home and then ate lunch.

Method. Check both verbs are in the same tense.

  1. Check the first. Walks is present, but ate is past.
    walks, ate
  2. Check the second. Walked and ate are both past.
    walked, ate
  3. Write the answer.
    She walked home and then ate lunch.

Check. Both verbs are in the past. ✓

Worked example 13.2.3
Replace the repeated noun with a pronoun: The gardener planted the seeds. The gardener watered them. Write the second sentence.

Method. Replace the noun with a pronoun the reader can follow.

  1. Find the repeated noun. The gardener is repeated.
    The gardener
  2. Replace it. He refers to the gardener, who is a man.
    He watered them.
  3. Write the answer.
    He watered them.

Check. He refers to the gardener clearly. ✓

Watch out

Watch out: a pronoun like it or they can be unclear if two nouns come before it. Repeat the noun to be safe.

Exam tip

Grown-up tip. Ask your child to read a paragraph and to point to every pronoun, then to say which noun each one means.

Exercise 13B  Practice: pronouns and consistent tense

1
FReplace the repeated noun with a pronoun: Ella found a shell. Ella put the shell in her pocket. Write the second sentence.
2
PSWhich pronoun is clear? The chef and the waiter brought the food. ___ was hot. Choose one: It or They.
3
PSWhich sentence keeps the tense consistent? Choose one. Choose one: She climbs the hill and then she sat down. or She climbed the hill and then she sat down..
4
PSCorrect the tense in this sentence: We walk to the park, and then we played football. Write the corrected sentence.
5
FWhich word replaces the name Ruby in Ruby is tired. Ruby went to bed.? Write the word only.
6
PSWrite a second sentence that replaces a repeated noun with a pronoun, about a dog.
7
RExplain in one sentence why a writer should keep the tense consistent.
8
RWhich pronoun is unclear in The farmer and the pilot met. He waved.? Write the word only.
9
PSRewrite the unclear pronoun in The farmer and the pilot met. He waved. so that the reference is clear.
10
PSCorrect the tense: I see the bus, and I ran to the stop. Write the corrected sentence.
11
RExplain in one sentence how a pronoun links two paragraphs.
13.3

Headings, bullet points and underlining: structuring a text

Year 6
Use organisational and presentational devices, such as headings, bullet points and underlining, to structure a text (Y5-6 writing)
Video lesson: Headings, bullet points and underlining: structuring a textComing soon
Story. The class is writing a guide to the school trip. The teacher asks for headings, bullet points for the list of things to bring, and underlining for the key word in each section.

Organisational devices make a text easy to follow. A heading names the section. Bullet points set out a list. Underlining or bold type shows a key word. Use them to help the reader find information quickly.

A short guide with devices

What to bring

  • a coat
  • sensible shoes
  • a packed lunch

Remember to check the weather before you leave.

Key ideas

  • A heading tells the reader what the section is about.
  • Bullet points set out a list of items, each punctuated the same way.
  • Underline or bold a key word to make it stand out.
Worked example 13.3.1
Which device sets out a list of items for the reader? Choose heading, bullet points or underlining.

Method. Think about which device shows a list.

  1. Find the list. The things to bring are a list of items.
    a list
  2. Name the device. Bullet points set out a list.
    bullet points
  3. Write the answer.
    bullet points

Check. Bullet points set out a list. ✓

Worked example 13.3.2
What is the purpose of a heading? Write the purpose in a few words.

Method. Think about what a reader needs at the start of a section.

  1. Think about the reader. The reader wants to know what the section is about.
    what it is about
  2. Name the purpose. A heading names the section.
    to name the section
  3. Write the answer.
    to name the section and show what it is about

Check. A heading names the section. ✓

Worked example 13.3.3
Why underline the word weather? Write one reason.

Method. Think about what underlining does.

  1. Think about the word. Weather is key information about the trip.
    key word
  2. Name the reason. Underlining makes the key word stand out.
    stand out
  3. Write the answer.
    to show it is a key word the reader must notice

Check. Underlining shows a key word. ✓

Watch out

Watch out: use headings and bullet points to help the reader, not to fill the page. Too many devices can make a text hard to follow.

Exam tip

Grown-up tip. Ask your child to make a list of things to bring on a day out, with a heading and bullet points, and to underline one key word.

Exercise 13C  Practice: headings, bullet points and underlining

1
FWhich device names the section of a text? Write the device only.
2
PSWhich is the better way to set out the list of things to bring? Choose one: a coat, shoes and lunch in one line or bullet points, one item on each line.
3
PSWhich word should be underlined to show the key information about the trip: the or weather? Write the word only.
4
PSWrite a heading for a section about food for the school trip.
5
RWrite the list item that is punctuated consistently with the others: a coat, sensible shoes or Bring a packed lunch. Write the item only.
6
RWhich device would help a reader find the steps for making a sandwich quickly? Name it, and explain why.
7
FWhich device shows a key term in a text, in addition to bold type? Write the device only.
8
PSWrite two bullet points for a list of things to take to a park, each as a fragment.
9
RWhat does the heading Safety rules tell the reader? Write the answer in a few words.
10
RExplain in one sentence how headings help a reader of a long text.
11
FWhich device shows that a list item is part of a list? Write the device only.
13.4

Editing and proofreading: improving a draft

Year 6
Evaluate and edit your own and others' writing, and proofread for spelling and punctuation (Y5-6 writing)
Video lesson: Editing and proofreading: improving a draftComing soon
Story. Dev has written a draft about a bike ride. Before he hands it in, he edits the meaning and the grammar, and then he proofreads the spelling and the punctuation.

Editing improves the meaning, the grammar and the vocabulary of a draft: it checks agreement, tense and word choice. Proofreading is the final check for spelling, punctuation and layout, done after the meaning is right.

Editing and proofreading

1Edit the meaning: does each part make sense to the reader?

2Edit the grammar: do the verbs agree with their subjects, and is the tense consistent?

3Proofread the spelling and punctuation, one word at a time.

Key ideas

  • Edit for meaning and grammar first, then proofread for spelling and punctuation.
  • Check that the subject and verb agree, and that the tense is consistent.
  • Read the corrected sentence aloud in your head.
Worked example 13.4.1
Correct the agreement: The children was playing in the garden. Write the corrected sentence.

Method. Check the subject and the verb.

  1. Find the subject. The children is plural.
    children
  2. Match the verb. A plural subject takes were.
    were
  3. Write the answer.
    The children were playing in the garden.

Check. The children were playing. ✓

Worked example 13.4.2
Proofread the spelling: recieve. Write the correct spelling.

Method. Check the letters, using the rule i before e, except after c.

  1. Find the rule. After c, the e comes before the i.
    c-e-i
  2. Write the word. Receive has ei after the c.
    receive
  3. Write the answer.
    receive

Check. receive follows the rule. ✓

Worked example 13.4.3
Edit the pronoun: Mum and me went to the park. Write the corrected sentence.

Method. Check which pronoun is the subject.

  1. Find the subject. Mum and I are the subject of went.
    Mum and I
  2. Choose the pronoun. I is the subject pronoun, so it is used.
    I
  3. Write the answer.
    Mum and I went to the park.

Check. I is the subject pronoun. ✓

Watch out

Watch out: proofread after editing. A correct spelling of a wrong word is still wrong, so check the meaning first.

Exam tip

Grown-up tip. Ask your child to read a draft of their own aloud, to stop at each full stop, and to say whether the sentence makes sense.

Exercise 13D  Practice: editing and proofreading

1
FEdit this sentence from a draft, correcting the an adverb and a spelling: The dog ran quick across the feild.
2
FEdit this sentence from a draft, correcting the a pronoun: Mum and me went to the park.
3
FEdit this sentence from a draft, correcting the agreement of the verb: Ella have finished her drawing.
4
FEdit this sentence from a draft, correcting the agreement of the verb: Then we goes home after school.
5
FEdit this sentence from a draft, correcting the agreement of the verb: The children was playing in the garden.
6
FProofread this word and write the correct spelling: recieve
7
FProofread this word and write the correct spelling: definately
8
FProofread this word and write the correct spelling: seperate
9
FProofread this word and write the correct spelling: occured
10
FProofread this word and write the correct spelling: neccessary
11
PSEdit this sentence for meaning: Then the bus stop was at the school. Write a clear version.
12
PSCorrect the sentence: Ruby have a new coat for school. Write the corrected sentence.
13
REvaluate one sentence of your own draft: is it clear? Write one reason.
14
FWhich word is spelt correctly: seperate or separate? Write the word only.
15
PSWhich mark is missing at the end of this sentence: Yesterday we went to the beach and we built a sandcastle? Write the mark only.
16
RExplain in one sentence the difference between editing and proofreading.
17
PSWhich word needs proofreading? Write the word only: occured or occurred.
18
PSCorrect the spelling in this sentence: We will definately go on the trip. Write the corrected sentence.
19
PSEdit this draft line for tense: Yesterday I walk to school and I see my friend. Write the corrected line.
13.5

Reading your writing aloud, and joined handwriting

Year 6
Read your writing aloud to check its effect, and write legible joined handwriting in a style that suits the purpose (Y5-6 writing, speaking and handwriting)
Video lesson: Reading your writing aloud, and joined handwritingComing soon
Story. Leah reads her poem aloud to a partner. She changes her voice where the poem is quiet, and she writes the final copy in neat joined handwriting, so that each word can be read easily.

Reading your writing aloud helps you hear whether it makes sense and sounds right. Use intonation (the rise and fall of the voice), volume and pauses. Legible, joined handwriting makes the text easy to read, and the style should suit the purpose: a neat, formal style for a letter, and a clear, quick style for notes.

Features of legible handwriting

FeatureWhat it helps the reader do
letters joined at the baselineread the word quickly
even spacing between wordssee where each word starts and ends
consistent size and sloperead the text without stopping

Key ideas

  • Read your writing aloud, to check the sense and the effect.
  • Use intonation, volume and pauses to show the meaning.
  • Legible, joined handwriting uses even spacing, consistent size and joins at the baseline.
Worked example 13.5.1
Which feature helps a reader see where each word starts and ends? Write the feature.

Method. Think about how the reader sees the words.

  1. Think about the words. Readers need to see the gaps between words.
    gaps
  2. Name the feature. Even spacing between words shows where each word starts and ends.
    even spacing between words
  3. Write the answer.
    even spacing between words

Check. Spacing helps the reader. ✓

Worked example 13.5.2
Which style suits a letter to the head teacher: a neat formal style or a quick note style? Write the style.

Method. Think about the purpose and the reader.

  1. Think about the reader. The head teacher is a formal reader.
    formal
  2. Choose the style. A neat, formal style suits a formal letter.
    a neat formal style
  3. Write the answer.
    a neat formal style

Check. The style suits the purpose. ✓

Worked example 13.5.3
Why read a poem aloud before you finish it? Write one reason.

Method. Think about what the voice shows.

  1. Think about the voice. Reading aloud shows the rhythm and the sense.
    rhythm and sense
  2. Name the reason. Hearing the poem shows what needs changing.
    what needs changing
  3. Write the answer.
    to hear whether it makes sense and sounds right

Check. Reading aloud checks the effect. ✓

Watch out

Watch out: reading aloud is for checking your writing, not only for performing it. Stop when a sentence does not sound right, and change it.

Exam tip

Grown-up tip. Ask your child to read their writing aloud to you. Listen for any sentence that does not sound right, and ask them to change it.

Exercise 13E  Practice: reading aloud and handwriting

1
RExplain in one sentence why reading your writing aloud helps you improve it.
2
PSWhich voice choice suits a quiet, sad line of a poem? Choose one: loud and fast or soft and slow.
3
FName the feature that makes handwriting easy to read: letters joined at the baseline or mixed sizes. Write the feature only.
4
RWhich style would you choose for a quick note to yourself? Explain in one sentence.
5
FWhich feature shows where a sentence ends when read aloud: a pause or a loud voice? Write the feature only.
6
PSPlan how you would read a poem aloud, with one change of volume and one pause.
7
RWhich letters are the joined letters in a legible hand: all letters joined or no letters joined? Write the answer only.
8
RWrite one sentence giving a reason why the style of handwriting should suit the purpose.
9
FWhich word means the rise and fall of the voice when reading aloud? Write the word only.

Chapter summary

SkillMethod
CohesionConnecting words and adverbials link events: then, afterwards, meanwhile, finally.
AdverbialsTime (when), place (where), number (the order).
Pronouns and tensePronouns must refer clearly to a noun; keep the tense consistent.
DevicesHeadings name sections, bullet points set out lists, underlining shows key words.
EditingEdit meaning and grammar first; then proofread spelling and punctuation.
Reading aloudListen for sense and sound; use intonation, volume and pauses.
HandwritingLegible, joined handwriting with even spacing; a style to suit the purpose.

Can you…?

  • I can use connecting words and adverbials of time, place and number
  • I can use pronouns clearly and keep the tense consistent across paragraphs
  • I can use headings, bullet points and underlining to structure a text
  • I can edit a draft for meaning and grammar, and proofread for spelling and punctuation
  • I can read my writing aloud, and check its sense and effect
  • I can write legible, joined handwriting in a style that suits the purpose

Key terms

cohesion
the way sentences and paragraphs link together so that the reader can follow them
connecting word
a word such as afterwards or meanwhile that shows how events link
adverbial
a word or phrase that tells when, where or in what order something happens
pronoun
a word such as he, she, it or they that replaces a noun
editing
improving the meaning and grammar of a draft
proofreading
the final check of spelling and punctuation
intonation
the rise and fall of the voice when reading aloud
legible
easy to read

Exercise 13Z  Check-up

1
What kind of adverbial is Later that afternoon in this sentence: Later that afternoon, the rain stopped.? Write time, place or number.
2
Join these sentences with a connecting word that shows the time order: Sam went to the market. He bought some apples.
3
Which pronoun is clear? Sam and Ali went home. ___ were tired. Choose one: They or It.
4
Edit this sentence from a draft, correcting the agreement of the verb: The children was playing in the garden.
5
Proofread this word and write the correct spelling: seperate
6
Which device names a section of a text? Write the device only.
7
Which sentence keeps the tense consistent? Choose one: She climbed the hill and then she sat down. or She climbs the hill and then she sat down..
8
Explain in one sentence why a pronoun must clearly refer to a noun.
9
Name one feature of legible, joined handwriting.
10
Correct the spelling: I will recieve the parcel. Write the corrected sentence.

Total 14 marks. Allow about 14 minutes.

Exercise 13X  Practice test questions

1
PSWrite the adverbial of time that fits: ___, the family went home. Choose Later or In the corner. Write the word only.[1 mark]
2
PSReplace the repeated noun with a pronoun: Ella found a shell. Ella put the shell in her pocket. Write the second sentence.[2 marks]
3
PSCorrect the tense in this sentence: We walk to the park, and then we played football. Write the corrected sentence.[2 marks]
4
PSCorrect the two spelling mistakes: The definately seperate team had a good day. Write the corrected sentence.[2 marks]
5
FName the device that sets out a list of items for the reader. Write the device only.[1 mark]
6
RExplain in one sentence why a pronoun must clearly refer to a noun.[2 marks]
7
FEdit this sentence for agreement: The children was playing in the garden. Write the corrected sentence.[1 mark]
8
FWhich connecting word shows that events happened in a list, one after another: secondly or yesterday? Write the word only.[1 mark]
9
RExplain in one or two sentences what reading your writing aloud helps you check.[2 marks]
← Chapter 12: Writing for purpose: narrative, non-fiction, persuasive and discursive

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