Year 4 English · Writing non-fiction and editing · Lesson 12.6

Year 4 English: Editing a draft: accuracy, cohesion and Standard English

Part of the Year 4 English writing non-fiction and editing chapter. Chapter overview · whole chapter on one page

12.6

Editing a draft: accuracy, cohesion and Standard English

Year 4
Evaluate and edit a draft for accuracy, cohesion and Standard English (WC6), Proof-read for spelling and punctuation errors (WC8), Present writing neatly, with joins where they are easy and legible handwriting (HW1, HW2)

Story. Leila has written the first draft of a text about bats for the class book. Before she copies it out neatly, she edits it in stages, checking the facts first and the small errors last.

Editing means improving a draft. Work through it in order: first check the accuracy (are the facts right?); then the cohesion (do the sentences link, with the right pronouns and connecting words?); then the Standard English (do the verbs agree with their subjects?). Then proof-read for spelling and punctuation. Present the final copy neatly on paper.

Read the draft in the box, then answer the questions in exercise 12F.

Bats in Britain (first draft)

1Bats are birds, because they fly at night. They hunts insects in the dark, and they are very useful.

2Bats uses sound to find their food. They make high-pitched sounds and listen for the echoes. The echoes tells them where the insects are.

3In winter, many bats sleeps in caves or roof spaces. Its a safe place to rest, and it stays cool.

4Bats definately help gardens. Bats eat many insects in a night, so gardeners often have fewer pests.

The stages of editing, in order, from the first check to the neat copy

Check	Question to ask
Accuracy	Is every fact true, and does each sentence say what I mean?
Cohesion	Does each pronoun stand for the right noun, and are the connecting words right?
Standard English	Does each verb agree with its subject, and is the tense right?
Proof-read	Are the spellings, capital letters, full stops and apostrophes correct?
Presentation	Is the handwriting even, legible and joined where it is easy?

Key ideas

Editing improves a draft; proof-reading finds the mistakes that are left.
Check accuracy first: a spell-checker cannot tell whether a fact is true.
A verb must agree with its subject: Bats use, but The echo tells.
A pronoun can replace a repeated noun, if it matches the noun it stands for.
Its (belonging to it) has no apostrophe; it's means it is.

Worked example 12.6.1

Correct this sentence from the draft: Bats uses sound to find their food.

Method. Check the verb against its subject, Bats.

Find the subject. Bats is a plural noun, so it needs a plural verb.
Bats
Find the verb. Uses is the singular form, which does not agree with Bats.
uses
Change the verb. The plural form of the verb is use.
Bats use sound to find their food.
Write the answer.
Bats use sound to find their food.

Check. Use agrees with the plural subject Bats. ✓

Worked example 12.6.2

Correct this sentence from the draft: Its a safe place to rest.

Method. Check whether the word means belonging to it, or is short for it is.

Find the word. Its here means it is, which is short for it is.
Its
Add the apostrophe. The apostrophe replaces the missing letter i of is.
It's
Write the sentence. Its a safe place becomes It's a safe place.
It's a safe place to rest.
Write the answer.
It's a safe place to rest.

Check. It's is short for it is. ✓

Watch out. Its with no apostrophe means belonging to it, as in its wings.

Worked example 12.6.3

In paragraph 4, the second sentence begins Bats eat many insects. Replace the repeated noun with a pronoun, and write the new sentence.

Method. Replace a repeated noun with a pronoun that matches it.

Find the repeated noun. Bats was used at the start of the sentence before.
Bats
Choose a pronoun. They stands for bats, which is plural.
They
Write the sentence. The pronoun links the two sentences without repeating the word.
They eat many insects in a night, so gardeners often have fewer pests.
Write the answer.
They eat many insects in a night, so gardeners often have fewer pests.

Check. They matches the plural noun Bats. ✓

Watch out

Watch out: checking spelling is not the same as editing. A sentence can be spelt correctly and still be wrong, if the fact is not true.

Exam tip

Grown-up tip (practise on paper). Ask your child to copy one sentence from the draft neatly, with even letters, a steady size, joins where they are easy, and even spaces between the words. Some letters are best left unjoined to the letter after them, so ask which ones your child's school teaches to leave unjoined. Then check the letters that have tails: do they touch the line below?