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Primary English · Year 5Chapter 11 · Writing stories and poems
Year 5 English · Writing stories and poems · Lesson 11.4

Year 5 English: Dialogue that shows character and moves the action

Part of the Year 5 English writing stories and poems chapter. Chapter overview · whole chapter on one page

11.4

Dialogue that shows character and moves the action

Year 5
Write dialogue that shows character and moves the action (WC-Y5a)
Story. In the model opening, Nell whispers Don't. We learn she is careful and worried, and the word pushes the action forward: Sam keeps reaching for the latch. Dialogue can do two jobs at once.

Model story opening: The Locked Shed

The shed at the bottom of the garden had been locked for as long as anyone could remember. On the morning of the fifth day of half-term, a thin rope of silver light crept beneath its door, and the air smelt of wet soil and oranges.

‘Don’t,’ whispered Nell, but her brother Sam was already reaching for the rusty latch.

The door swung open with a groan. Inside, a single lamp burned on a crate, and a row of tiny clocks ticked in the dark, all of them a little out of step with one another.

Key ideas

  • Dialogue shows character: the words a person chooses reveal how they think and feel.
  • Dialogue moves the action: a line can create a choice, a problem or a turn in the plot.
  • Use a new line for each speaker, and the correct punctuation.
  • Use a reporting clause sparingly; the words can often show who speaks.
Worked example 11.4.1
What does Nell's word Don't show about her?

Method. Think about what she is trying to stop.

  1. Look at the action. Sam is reaching for the latch.
    reaching
  2. Infer. Nell is careful or worried about what might happen.
    careful
  3. Write the answer.
    she is careful or worried

Check. Careful or worried. ✓

Worked example 11.4.2
Write the correct punctuation for: come and see said Sam

Method. Put the spoken words in inverted commas.

  1. Find the words. Come and see is spoken.
    Come and see
  2. Punctuate. Inverted commas, a comma before the closing marks.
    "Come and see," said Sam.
  3. Write the answer.
    "Come and see," said Sam.

Check. "Come and see," said Sam. ✓

Worked example 11.4.3
Which line moves the action on: Hello or Hurry, the door is opening!?

Method. Look for a line that changes what happens next.

  1. Compare. Hello is a greeting; it does not move the plot.
    greeting
  2. Choose. The second line creates urgency and moves the plot on.
    urgency
  3. Write the answer.
    Hurry, the door is opening!

Check. The second line. ✓

Exercise 11D  Practice: dialogue

1
FPunctuate: I am not scared said Nell
2
FPunctuate: where is the key asked Sam
3
FWhich word in "Don't," whispered Nell shows how she speaks?
4
FWhich line shows a character is nervous: Fine by me or I... I think we should wait?
5
FWrite a short line of dialogue where a character is brave.
6
PSWhich action moves the plot on: Sam sighed or Sam unlocked the cupboard?
7
PSAdd a reporting verb to show how Sam speaks: "Hurry!" ____ Sam.
8
PSRewrite as dialogue: Nell told Sam to stop.
9
PSWhich line of dialogue shows that two characters disagree: Yes, let us go or No, it is locked, and you know it?
10
RWrite a short piece of dialogue (three lines) between two friends, where one is worried. Show the worry through the words.
11
RExplain how dialogue can show character without the writer saying what the character is like.

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